The Talk
by cyndaquil
Summary: Vegeta decides it is time to have the talk with his daughter.


**Disclaimer**:I do not own Dragonball nor intend to profit from use of its characters.

**The Talk**

Bra smiled and made a few poses in the mirror. She wore a red strapless dress, white gloves that reached to the elbows, stiletto boots, and a hint of make-up. The blue haired girl had spent over an hour preparing.

It was a pity that her father would never let her leave the house dressed like this. Oh well, she would just have to sneak past him.

Quietly, she tip-toed through the hall. Bra peaked into the kitchen, and predictably enough Vegeta was their, devouring a submarine sandwich.

She took another step.

Of course to Vegeta's Saiyan ears the tiny sound of her toe hitting the carpet may as well have been a clap of thunder.

He turned. "Bra!"

Oh no, I've been spotted. 

Bra poised herself to run, but the prince of Saiyans was upon her before she could take a single step.

"Bra," barked Vegeta, "are you going to see that boy again?"

Bra turned around and faced her father with the sweetest expression she could muster.

"Yeah dad, I was just about to tell you. Well bye, I'll be back by ten, Audios."

Vegeta of course was still holding her by the arm.

Suddenly Vegeta's expression softened. The he did something really scary. He blushed.

"Bra, you've been seeing this boy for awhile. So there are some things I feel I should talk to you about."

Is he serious ?

"It's okay dad. Me and mom already had the talk."

Suddenly Vegeta's expression turned serious. "Dear," Vegeta sighed, "I don't know how deeply you've thought about this but you must know I'm not like other fathers."

Duh, she thought.

"Why whatever do you mean father?"

"Well, you see, compared to a human, I'm what you would consider an alien."

He paused for a moment, looking for the right words, and then continued.

"When I met your mother I was entranced by her strong will. She approached me with a confidence and complete lack of intimidation. Why I almost thought I had found a Saiyan woman."

Vegeta chuckled awkwardly, and then continued.

"However around the time of her first pregnancy I noticed some differences between the bodies of human and Saiyan women."

"For starters the litter was so small." Vegeta said this with a hint of shame in his voice. "Only bearing one child at a time, Hmph. Even the weakest Saiyan wench could at least crank out a proper bakers dozen. And this business about the baby growing inside the women's belly is ridiculous. Humans should just learn to lay eggs a week after copulating. It would save them so much trouble. You wouldn't believe how messy it was when she finally gave birth. Albeit I do like how human women can only get pregnant at certain times of the month. That's much better than every time they get laid."

Bra stared at her father, mouth agape.

"Uh so Saiyan women get pregnant every time they have sex, and lay eggs, by the dozen."

"They lay eggs by a minimum of a bakers dozen," Vegeta corrected.

"Is their anything else?"

"After copulation you will be compelled to bite the males head off. If he can fight you off then he gets to help raise the kids."

Bra stared at her father blankly. After a long awkward silence she spoke.

"But dad isn't it possible I'll just do it the way momma does?"

Vegeta smiled, and patted his daughter on the shoulder "Don't worry I can smell the pheromones off your egg maker. You're a perfectly normal, healthy, saiyan girl."

An hour later Vegeta was training in the artificial gravity room. Suddenly the gravity was cranked way up. His face slammed against the hard metal floor. Then the gravity returned to normal. Cautiously he got up. All of a sudden the gravity was cranked up again, and he hit the floor. This repeated several times before Bulma stopped messing with the control levers and entered the room.

"Vegeta your daughter left for her date dressed like a nun. I asked her what was wrong, and she said that you and she had the talk."

"What the heck did you say to her?"

"Look if you don't like my parenting, just bite my head off why don't you."

I don't know if this is funny or just wrong, but I felt like writing it. I purposely left it ambiguous whether Vegeta's story was true or not. Maybe you can give your opinions in a review. Saiyans supposedly evolved completely separate from all life on earth, yet they can interbreed with humans, so just how alien are they.


End file.
